LOUSY ME!

150212, semester 1 result day.

I don't like you.

How can I get such result?

I don't understand.

Put so much effort everyday.

Did coloured notes with my whole set of expensive Stabilo colour pens for every subjects.

Studied from 8am-11pm everyday during study week.

Answered all the questions for every exam papers confidently.

I expect more than this, but you really disappoint me.

Why most of them can get good results but still complain this and that???

What did I do wrong?

I don't think outing once a week is a problem.

At least I repay it by reading lecture notes for a while after each outing day.

I don't think studying while listening to music is a problem too.

Because this is my study method and only then I can focus.

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM???????

Fine. Even though I never pay attention during almost every lecture classes, not because I did it on purpose, but I really did my best to overcome the lecturers' "lullaby"!

Have a deep thought about this, but still can't find a satisfied reason to comfort myself.

I'm not sure whether this is the problem.

Honestly, I'm trying hard to gain interest on this course.

Just because of the science degree certificate and let my parents to be happy, I need to sacrifice my 4 years time.

If I have the money and the power to choose, I won't have choose this.

Sometimes I really think that practise musical instruments every hour, read composers history and do musical theory are easier that Biochemistry, Physiology and Nutrition.

At least I have the "FLAME" in the inner heart.

As I know, I think that one that has the "flame" to do things which he/she likes a lot will receive better output.

So that's not me!

But I'm still not sure whether I really like this course or not? I really have the heart to continue on or not? Am I really want to be one or not in future?

What if I regret to take it?

What if time can travel back?

What if I don't accept scholarship?

What if I choose music as my career?

NO WAY!! I can't have the "WHAT IF" thinking anymore. It's too late to change my mind.

If time really travels back, I wish I can reject JPA scholarship and think carefully whether to continue to take this course or not. If I still get such result for semester 2, at least I can pursue music instead of this.

But all I can say now is: EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

Hopefully I can find out the reason for what is happening now.

Maybe like what my parents said, "You've tried your best. Maybe you haven't adapt the university life. Try hard again next semester."

Maybe like what a friend told me, "You'll try even harder for next semester to improve right? Get this result also benefits you."

I'm neither doing what I love,nor loving what I do now.

I'm neither study hard nor study smart.

I don't know why I want to be a smarty.

I'm not that smart and I don't want to be one of them.

I'm tired to let people be impressed of me.

I'm tired to achieve people's expectations about me.

I'm tired to be kiasu.

I'm tired to chase a success for myself anymore.

I'm really tired.

I just want to be the real me.

God! Please guide me to continue on! I lost my directions!

I can't just give up like this.

I'm sure you can lift me up and give me the confidence to get a 3 pointer for next semester.

I believe you as you gave me a result which passes the JPA pointer requirement although I don't satisfied with it.

Still can't hang a smile on my face. Forcing myself to be happy and have a positive thinking. :(

First post of 2012

First Semester break is finally here!

I'm at home now!

After 4 months staying at hustle-and-bustle air polluted city,

I'm tired of walking and using public transport to travel around KL.

Although it's fun to ride those LRT, KTM, monorail and Rapid KL as a "sakai" like me.

I'll enjoy as much as possible in Kuching within this 1 month ++ holiday!

Don't want to think of exam results anymore.

I bet it sucks!

The craziest stuff I did this week: I CHOPPED OFF & DYED MY HAIR!

I cut my hair too SHORT unexpectedly!

I dyed my hair too RED accidentally!

Ps: Don't ask me why. I don't know what to answer too! :P

As a FOOD LOVER,

I'll miss KL foods which I can't find in hometown!

As a SHOPAHOLIC,

I'll miss window shopping around KL shopping malls that I LOVE a lot!

As a TRAVELLER,

I'll miss travelling around KL and sight-seeing!

As a STUDENT,

I won't miss you campus & hostel! ><

Chinese New Year eve is tomorrow!

So excited!

Wanna eat a lot without concerning about calories & nutrients!

It's an once-a-year event!

The only thing that I'm sick of now is CNY songs.

Urghhhhh.

HAPPY CNY to all my friends & families!

Happy Dragon Year! :)

A True Meaning of Christmas for me :)

It's that time of year again. December has come and with it all the joys of Christmas. But what is the real meaning of Christmas? Is it the gifts under the tree, the lights in the windows, the cards in the mail, turkey dinners with family and friends, snow in the yard, stockings hanging in the living room, and shouts of "Merry Christmas" to those who pass us in the streets? Is this really Christmas?

For many people, Christmas is a time of sorrow. They don't have the extra money to buy presents for their children, family, and friends. Many are saddened at Christmastime when they think of their loved ones who will not be able to come home for various reasons. Turkey dinners may be only a wish and not a reality for some.

Yet, Christmas can be a season of great joy. It is a time of God showing His great love for us. It can be a time of healing and renewed strength. You see, Christmas is when we celebrate the birth of the Christ child. God sent His Son, Jesus, into the world to be born. His birth brought great joy to the world. Shepherds, wise men, and angels all shared in the excitement of knowing about this great event. They knew this was no ordinary baby. The prophets had told of His coming hundreds of years before. The star stopped over Bethlehem just to mark the way for those who were looking for this special child.

Why did He come? Why did God send His son to this sometimes cruel and hard world? He sent Jesus to us so that one day, He would grow up to become a very important part of history. His story (history) is one of truth, love, and hope. It brought salvation to all of us. Without Jesus, we would all die in our sins.

Jesus was born so one day the price could be paid for the things we have done that are wrong. The Bible says that all have sinned. We are all born with a sin nature. We do things that do not please God. Through the sins of Adam and Eve, we have all inherited that sin nature. We need to have that removed. The only way is through Jesus. Jesus came so He could die on the cross for ALL of our sins. If we believe that Jesus died for our sins, we can ask Him to come into our hearts and forgive us. Then, we are clean and made whole. We can know that heaven is a place where we can go to when this life is over.

We can truly be happy at Christmas! No matter what may be happening, we can know that we are His children. We then become sons and daughters of God. Heaven will be our home one day.

Look at Christmas in a new way this year. This is the year to invite Jesus into your heart. You will then have a "Merry Christmas." The joy and peace you will receive will last all year as you look to God for all your needs to be met.

Jesus Is The Reason For The Season! Rejoice!

Emo Blog

Like what Evelynn said,

Life is full of WHYs.

I'm so sorry if I did anything wrong & hurt you.

I don't know what's happening now.

Please tell me the truth.

I really wanna know.

Scolded me without a reason?

Just make me curious if I'm rebellion and don't listen to dad and mum.

Just a meet up is very common for me.

I don't know why I shouldn't do that.

I'm not purposely want to get a close relationship with anyone.

I just want to feel homely.

I have to admit that I have a TERRIBLE HOMESICK recently.

I thought I can be tough to overcome it but I can't do that anymore.

I just want to finish off my final sem exam quickly & go home!

Burst with tears after chatting with bro.

Haiz.

I'm not an idiot or childish.

Don't make feel that I'm an useless daughter who cares other people more that my own FAMILY.

Please.

I know what are good and bad for me.

All of you just make me feel guilty.

I hate my FEELING right now!

FAMILY is the most important people in my life FOREVER!

Sometimes I don't call back or pick up phone because I'm busy till late at night.

Not that I don't miss my family and purposely do that.

I'm jealous for those who can go back every weekend ok?

I also want to go home!

Life in hostel is like as if I'm a prisoner!

Life in campus sucks!

A mixture of BM & BI teaching.

Not interested in some subjects.

Stupid e-learning contract system which everyone needs to clear off 8 credit hours.

Life in KL is not as good as you think.

I really think these

"Is it a good thing to sacrifice my music knowledge to study nutrition?"

"Why did I keep my feelings & accepted my parents' advices to come UKM?"

"What if I regret after all?"

Such an EMO girl to write this post!

LIFE IS SO COMPLICATED!

1 word to describe my feeling now:

SIAN~~~~~

October baby :)

Loves to chat.
Loves those who love them.
Loves to takes things at the centre.
Inner and physical beauty.
Lies but doesn't pretend.
Gets angry often.
Treats friends importantly.
Brave and fearless.
Always making friends.
Easily hurt but recovers easily.
Daydreamer.
Opinionated.
Does not care to control emotions.
Unpredictable.
Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND
sexiest of them all.

Are these true about me? :)

My new Chingu! :)

151011 is a memorable day in my uni life.

I finally get to meet this kpop chingu!

I was worried that we would have awkward moments during this first meeting.

I know her since last year but we never meet.

Thanks to RACHEL RURAN LEONG who introduces her to me during matriculation!

Due to the distance between our hometowns, we just sms, tweeter & fb chat to each other.

Our first meeting was awesome!

We went Midvalley Golden Screen Cinema to watch 2am Show!

She chia me snowflakes too.

We chatted a lot.

Although it was the first meeting, I feel that she's my CLOSE FRIEND who I know for so many years!

We met again after I finished mid-sem exam.

I brought another kpop kaki chingu with me.

We went Sushi King & she found out I'm a SALMON LOVER!

I ordered 4 plates of salmon-related sushi out of 6 plates!

hahaha!

After that, we watched "In Time" at GSC.

Awesome movie! A MUST-WATCH movie!

We went to the PC fair & bought the same type of headsets!

She'll definitely read this blog!

*read this ya!*

Dear Evelynn,

You're totally a RACHEL-like girl! That's why both of you can be so close to each other. Anyways, I don't owe you anything anymore. Haha. Hopefully we can always meet each other for these 4 years! Gumawo for everything ya! Chingu forever! :)

Love,
your cute kpop chingu! XP

My very FIRST exam in university

Finally finished my exam today!

Woohoo!

What a relief!

My feeling about this very first exam?

It's quite different from matriculation.

Instead of objective questions,

We have Multiple Choice Questions (MCQ).

It's so confusing!

True or False, that's what you need to do.

Essays as usual.

I sat for 5 papers.

Anatomy: Quite ok.

Nutrition Health: just simply wrote down whatever food which appeared in my mind. XP

Physiology: Essays ok. MCQ die.

Instrumentation: KILLER SUBJECT!! Hopefully can pass well & will not affect my CGPA. Pray
hard.

Biochemistry: Organic chemistry is kind to me! Quite confident for this paper! :D


What shall I do now??

HAPPY HOLIDAY!!!!!! Don't touch books for a week!!!! :DD